White is for Summer and Other Rules of Engagement

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I was going to a birthday brunch on Sunday and was trying to figure out what to wear. I started my latest edition of the “personal fashion show” – trying on ensemble options to see how they looked — and I found this pretty combination of white skirt with irredescent sequins on it and a white cropped sweater with a deep purple tank underneath. I thought I’d cap it of with a red/white/purple scarf and other coordinating accessories. I was smiling and feeling like I’d found a perfect outer reflection of the inner me in that moment.
And then it happened. From deep in the recesses of my mind came this warning:
“You can’t wear all that white. You’ll need to wear white shoes, and white shoes are for Summer!”
I started to give my tacit agreement to this voice, when it hit me … I had unearthed another old “Rule of Engagement” that was sub-consciously influencing how I live my life.
As I asked myself how many more fashion rules were running around inside, they surfaced, like dead bodies floating to the top of a lake:

-Don’t wear stripes if you’re not pencil thin.
-No jeans for parties with a written invitation.
-You can’t wear velvet before 5pm.
-Black shoes don’t go with white outfits.
-Nothing shiny for casual affairs.
-Be careful wearing too many bright colors, and so on.

They are all about how to look a certain way. Why? Because {Fill in the Blank}. My why’s were: I want people to like me, respect me, see me as worthy, fashionable, and relatable. Why? Because I know social consciousness makes snap judgments about the inner aspects of a person from the outer expression of that person, so I know people who encounter me today will connect the way I dress with who they believe I am. Underneath that is an even deeper aspect which goes to being in relationship with the world, so things like be friends with me, do business with me, fall in love with me came up. Interesting.

Even as my personal journey of Soul Evolution has gone higher and deeper, there remain preconceived notions, or “presets” as we call them in HeartMath, beliefs and values that are charged from the perspective of personality, identity, and woundology (a.k.a. ego or not self) that can hold me back from expressing the authentic Self. The Self that in the midst of the fashion show felt only the aspect of the Divine – Peace, Love, Joy and Freedom.
The call to action is to be continuously awake and aware of what’s underneath the surface of the “you-ness” of you. What are your “Rules of Engagement” and how are they reflecting the ‘not self?’ What are the beliefs and values influencing your seemingly minor everyday decisions like how you dress, where you go for lunch, who you call “friend,” or what you say or don’t say in a moment? Why are they there?

Instead of going through our lives, asleep at the wheel, allowing these remnants from the past to be our knee-jerk reactions or our ages-old habits and practices, let’s do the exploration into what’s underneath that could be shifted or completely released, that allows us to be awake and impeccable with our choices. That’s the key to being more connected to our Magnificent Essence, and enjoying more peaceful, free, open and authentic expressions of ourselves everyday!

I wore the white ensemble and thoroughly enjoyed how perfectly it expressed my inner Truth that day. I’m grateful to be able to catch my human self when it’s about to take me out of alignment with the Truth of who I am. It’s becoming so much easier to lovingly choose differently. I wish the same for you!


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