You are here

The Sweetness of Life

+ enlarge

Today I decided to start my diet and purchased my very first gym membership. Then I had a donut, brownies, chocolate bananas and strawberries, and mousses at the school chocolate fest. I was guilt-free thinking that I’d just burn it all in the gym at night, for the first time in … two years. The sweets were very good, but like a friend of mine likes to say, “not so good after you take a look in the mirror, huh?” But I was determined to prove to myself that I could eat whatever I wanted, as long as I exercised a bit, so I went to the gym. After 30 minutes that seemed like months, my arms and legs were about to fall off, and I hadn’t even burned my banana (without the chocolate coating part). Looks like “whatever I want” is too broad of a statement for someone who gained fifty pounds in the last 6 months. And it’s not just about the weight: my understanding and loving boyfriend just found a way of saying I was flaccid. But I can do this, just like I stopped biting my nails years ago, and like I decided to be a good student. This makes me question everything, from the nature of my body desperately holding on to all of the calories to a God that would allow something as good as food to make us fat and ugly. My relationship with food is shaking some of my beliefs to their very core. Turns out my daily calorie consumption must be of 1200 calories, which aren’t even enough for my breakfast and my daily donut. I see people saying that life is good, but to me, it seems pretty unfair. There should be a switch to control the body’s needs to hold on to “energy.” It is clear that something must be done about it; crying and eating some more isn’t going to help. I’ll eventually find a way of extinguishing the sweetness of my life. Worst part is, if I had all of those sweets in front of me right now, I’d probably eat them all over again. So much for not learning my lesson.


Loading comments...