A Yogurt by Any Other Name

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I’m definitely a fan of all those new yogurts, mainly Weight Watchers and Yoplait, that have come out with various flavors of low-fat yogurt to help women who are dieting. There’s cherry cheesecake, key lime pie, Boston cream pie, and various other dessert-style flavors containing only about one hundred calories and usually less than one gram of fat. The purpose is to encourage women to indulge, or think they are indulging, all while maintaining their diets.


My problem isn’t with the idea, because sure, it’s a good idea. These delicious flavors, many of which women obviously enjoy, allow us to have a little taste of the desserts that probably made us fat in the first place. For me, the problem lies in the actual taste. I get so excited—ecstatic, actually—when I see one hundred-calorie yogurts called “Boston Cream Pie” and “Cherry Cheesecake.” I think, is it too good to be true? Delicious, dessert-inspired yogurts with low calories, low fat, and plenty of calcium? Yup, it is too good to be true. While somewhat yummy, the yogurts in no way come close to nailing the emotions I would endure while consuming a cherry cheesecake. Sure, it tastes good, but it tastes like yogurt; maybe even cherry-flavored yogurt. I know I shouldn’t be complaining, but really, how hard is it to make a low-fat food taste like the real thing?


Besides Weight Watchers ice cream, which comes in too-tiny-to-enjoy-containers but are full of real taste and real ice cream, I haven’t found a low-fat, low-calorie product that actually tastes good enough to eat while attempting to maintain a diet. Couldn’t Yoplait just put a tiny chunk of cheesecake in their cherry cheesecake yogurt? It wouldn’t add that many more calories, would it? Maybe that’s a bad idea because I would probably just eat the chunk of cheesecake and not the rest of the yogurt. All I’m asking for is for my healthy yogurt to at least slightly resemble something not so healthy.


I just feel so fooled, that’s all. The picture on the container of the cherry cheesecake yogurt is a slice of heavenly cheesecake smothered in cherry topping, sitting atop a bed of cherries. And the Boston cream pie? A slice of Boston cream pie so detailed you can see each and every layer. Ha! There is no cheesecake in my yogurt, only small ounces of failed attempt. I’m asking for more. I’m sure all the ladies out there can agree with me: we want yogurt that tastes unhealthy, but still is healthy. Take Kellogg’s Special K, for example. They have the right idea by putting little chocolate chunks in their cereal. That way we get our fix. So the next step for yogurt? If little chunks of cheesecake are too much, maybe little speckles of chocolate. Maybe chocolate chips. Maybe shavings of Belgium chocolate. Maybe little pieces of Godiva. Either way, our diet-inspired yogurt should taste more like what it’s modeled after and less like yogurt. If that’s too much to ask, I’m losing faith in my favorite calcium-fortified health buddy.

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