liz meade

liz meade's picture

liz meade

Another experience in marriage that went south so fast I should have packed sunblock.&nbsp; This attempt after years of discouraging unbalanced relationship ills to FIX us was over within days of the marriage September 2006.<br /> <br /> To be exported to the &quot;Lost&quot; set would have been preferable looking for my own dharma initiative fighting off jungle woes and deprivation.&nbsp; The silence of the maddening outside world with all its rules and STOP signs in my way would have been gladly given up with the wonderful blossoming possibilities that exist when everyone starts over.<br /> <br /> It has come to me finally after years (starting at 18) to fix myself through marriage, men, ending up in relationship hell.&nbsp; I have always been looking for a place to grow and thrive with support that was not found in my family.&nbsp; Never depended upon the government but dated with a vengeance always trying to exact the perfect addition to my life then mine and my daughter's.&nbsp; <br /> <br /> Now hopefully with years ahead I hope to fall in love with my eyes wide open this last time.&nbsp; To feel that excitement that those stimulant brain chemicals ooze for about 18 months (brood behavior in horses) and then be able to still feel LOVE would be my fondest dream come true.<br /> <br /> So call me&nbsp;with absolutely&nbsp;no pun intended, a&nbsp;&quot;COCK(eyed) optimist&quot;&nbsp;I&nbsp; do prefer to think&nbsp;of myself as&nbsp;a&nbsp;vibrating&nbsp;being that is&nbsp;soul(ly) driven&nbsp; to feel the expansion of LIFE, feeling those natural&nbsp;endorphins, oxytocin, one last time before I send out my parting gifts and thank yous to everyone for attending&nbsp;my life party.&nbsp; Even though it is with mixed emotions&nbsp;I write these heartfelt statements there still beats a strong force guiding my path (not Obe Wan) but a certainty&nbsp;that many years lie ahead&nbsp;and opportunities to create a new beginning, middle and ultimately the next&nbsp;step in this wonder filled universe.&nbsp; So if I meet you along the way smile and just say hello&nbsp;fellow traveler&nbsp;and then you too become part of the experiential thread of my being&nbsp;this time around.&nbsp;<br /> <br /> See you on the flip side of whatever reality there is beyond this one I will certainly be looking for those cute GHOST&nbsp;adventurers (Zack, Nick, and the other cutie on the travel channel) to make contact and open the door once more.......